Dear Bailee,
Finding out we were pregnant with you changed my life. I was worried that I wasn’t ready. I knew Mom was; she had been for a very long time. I was having some serious health problems, and I believe that was half of it. I was worried I wouldn’t be around to see you grow up. It all seems so silly now, but those were my thoughts.
Everyone thought you were going to be a boy. I knew deep down you were going to be a girl. I never thought any different. Mom felt the same way.
The day we were to find out if you were a boy or a girl was a fun day. I couldn’t drive because of my seizures, so Mom had to come pick me up from work. On the way to your appointment, Mom and I gave our final predictions:
GIRL
We walked into the doctor’s office glowing with excitement. I couldn’t wait. As we sat in the waiting room, I couldn’t help but think about you. I tried picturing you. It blew my mind that you were coming to our family. I knew you were watching us from above, and I wondered what you were feeling.
Were you as nervous as we were?
Were you proud of us?
Were you scared?
I then began to think of all the family that was probably with you at that very moment. I wondered if you were speaking to relatives who had long since passed through to the other side.
What advice were they giving you?
Then I wondered if saying good bye to everyone up there was going to be difficult for you. I hoped you were aware, and felt how much your Mom and I already loved you.
I was getting emotional, and I had to stop thinking about you, or I was going to break down completely.
“Savanna Anderson,” The nurse said opening up one of the side doors.
“Yes,” your Mom replied standing up. She grabbed my hand and together we walked through the door. AS I held your Mom’s hand, I knew our lives were about to change.
“Go ahead and have a seat,” The friendly nurse said.
Mom gently sat on the table and touched her belly with both hands. She was barely showing, but being as skinny as she was it was noticeable. Our eyes met, and we both smiled. Before we could say anything the Ultrasound Nurse opened the door.
“Savanna,” she asked?
“Yes.”
“How are you two? You must be dad,” she shook my hand and sat down at the machine. She asked us several questions, and then went right to work. Your Mom had to lay down and unbutton her pants. The nurse squeezed some jelly on your Mom’s belly and began the ultrasound.
Silence
Nothing was said for what seemed like several minutes. I tried my hardest watching the computer screen trying to make out all the blurry images. I couldn’t see anything. Then magically, you appeared. You were perfect. I could see your head, arms, fingers and toes. You had one of your arms behind your head. Little did you know, but that is how I sleep. You were in the exact same position as your daddy!
Even if I tried, I couldn’t express to you in words what I felt in those moments. Seeing you was by far the most special experience up to that point in my life. Mom and I had created you because of our love for each other. You were going to be a part of our eternal family. This was only the beginning of forever!
“So, do you want to know what it is,” the nurse said looking at your Mom?
Your Mom looked at me and said, “Please!”
The nurse moved her hand to get a better look at the screen. You had your legs crossed, and were being difficult. You were already being modest! Finally after maneuvering for a few moments the nurse smiled. She looked at us both and said, “You are going to have a baby girl!”
I knew it!
Love,
Dad
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