All-Stars 1.0

The year was 2000. It was late June.  I had 2 weeks before I left for my two year mission.  I was getting nervous.

Let me start with a little history:

In front of our house lived a girl.  She must have been popular, because she always had male visitors over to see her.  She had a little porch in the front of her house where she would sit with all of her male followers.  My brother and I would look out our window from our bedroom above the garage and laugh at all the attention she was getting.

It was nonstop.

One lucky male caught her eye, and it appeared that they began to date.  Instead of visiting on the front porch, they would sit on each other’s laps and kiss totally unaware that there were houses everywhere.  This continued almost every day that summer.  When you would walk out of the house, you couldn’t help but see the love birds right in front of you.

As the summer went on, this male would bring his two buddies along with him.  While he made out with his girlfriend, the two buddies would sit on the porch or shoot hoops across the street. 

You couldn’t miss this trio of males, even if you wanted to.  They wore the baggy pants, the extra-large shirts with their hats turned to the side of their heads.  They topped off their ridiculous outfits with fake gold chains, and heaven knows what else wrapped around their necks.  They were a sight to behold.

The two buddies must have started to get jealous of their friend and his girlfriend, so they started bringing their female friends to their daily visits. 2 turned into 4, and 4 turned into 6.  Every day they visited, and every day they would shoot hoops as their female admirers watched on.

Now back to my story:

Like I said before, I had 2 weeks before I left on my mission.  On this particular day I was in the garage with my brother putting some of my things away in boxes.  We had the garage open, and were having some fun.  We were listening to NSYNC’s new CD as loud as we could.  Occasionally my brother and I would stop what we were doing and dance.  Of course, the 3 males and 3 girlfriends were right across the street watching our every move.  We didn’t care.

Just as we were about to close the garage and go in the house, our brother-in-law Bob pulled in the driveway.  We ended up staying outside and talking for a few minutes.

You will never guess what happened next…

“Yo, yo,” one of the males was crossing the street coming right at us.  He was walking with slight limp, and it looked like he was having trouble keeping his pants on.

Hello...” My brother Dave responded.

The friend looked back to make sure the others were watching him.  Once he knew they were, he continued, “Yo- yo. You three play basketball?”

“What?” Bob asked looking at this kid with his pants pulled down to his ankles.

“Yo, y’all play ball or not?”

Dave, Bob and I all looked at each other.  This was weird.

“Yes,” Dave answered finally.

The awkward male looked back at his supporters, then turned to us and said, “My two friends and I want to play you three in a game of hoop.”

Seriously? 

Bob looked at Dave who looked at me.  These 3 males could not be a day over 16 or 17.  We could tell right away all the wanted to do was impress their lady friends.

“Y’all in or not?” the male asked impatiently fidgeting with the fake gold chain around his neck.

Dave stepped forward and answered, “Sure.”

Our little friend went on to explain that they were going to go change their clothes, but would be back in 20 minutes to play us.  He walked back over to his friends, talked to them for a few seconds, then they all drove off in their car.

“Are you kidding me!?” Bob asked once they had left.  Their 3 girlfriends were still sitting on the front porch looking at us.

“We better get ready,” Dave said walking into the garage.

We changed our clothes and met back outside.  Dave and I had watched our opponents shoot hoops across the street all summer.  They weren’t very good.  We knew this was going to be a blow out.  Here’s how I knew:

1. The 3 friends were about as uncoordinated of people as you could find.

2. My brother and I were very competitive, and we smelled blood.

3. Bob was a 6 foot 2 freak of nature.  He could jump out of a gym (let me remind you this was in 2000), and was all muscle.  The guy gained muscle by sitting and watching TV.  Tell me which one of the 5 foot nothing three amigos was going to guard Bob?  Exactly!

4. Dave could shoot anyone out of the gym.  Give the guy a small window, and that ball was going in.  He was smart, and could pass the ball with the best of them.  Who was going to stop Dave from lighting it up?

5. Then there was me.  I was 19 and in the best shape of my life.  I was playing basketball 3 times a week at the church, and could play all day long.    Who was going to stop me?

The three of us walked outside and started warming up.  We looked good.  I was excited.

The three girlfriends came over and sat on the curb next to the basketball hoop and waited for their admirers to arrive.

Just then, the three amigos pulled up.