The Hangover 1.2

4:30am

I rub my eyes to help me focus on the road.  I realize I probably shouldn’t be driving.  I look over at Brenden, and he is fast asleep.  I look in the rear view mirror and notice that Colin is crying. 

“You OK buddy?” I ask looking over my shoulder.

With tears streaming down his face Colin answers, “I just love her!”

I’m confused, but decide to play along.  “Who are you talking about?”

“Meredeth…I just love her.  It makes my heart happy.”

He’s lost it.   That soda really did a number on him I think to myself.

I focus my attention back on the road when it happens….

BAAAMMMMMMM

“Holy….” Brenden screams as his head hits the windshield.  He wasn’t wearing his seat belt.

My hands are gripping the steering wheel.  I just hit something.

“My nose,” Brenden cries holding his nose.  It is bleeding pretty badly.  I do nothing.

“Did you guys know I recently was married?” Colin asks oblivious to anything going on in this world.  I make a mental note to never give him anything stronger than apple juice.

“What the heck did you hit?” Brenden asks looking at me.  It looks like he has been shot in the face.  Blood is oozing out his nose like a faucet.

 

Without answering him, I open the car door.  It is still pitch black outside, and my eyes are having a hard time focusing on anything.  I walk to the front of the car slowly, making sure I have a clear path back to the car, just in case I need to take off running.

“What is it?” Brenden yells from inside the car.  He looks scary through the windshield.

I peak in front of the car….nothing. 

“Maeser!” Brenden yells opening his door.  He looks crazy.  He walks over to the front of the car to see what I hit.

I scratch my head.  Whatever we hit fled the scene.  The front bumper of the car was hanging by a tiny screw.  It looked like we hit a moose.

"Did you see what it was?"

"No."

"You sure?"

I glare at him.

"Whatever you hit sure killed the car," Brenden chuckled.

Brenden was right, whatever we hit was big.

“Careful, what we hit might still be lurking,” Brenden was looking around like he knew what he was doing.  He was in a stance like he was ready to fight someone or something.

“We got married in the Provo Temple,” Colin said over my shoulder, startling me.  I didn’t realize he had gotten out of the car. He was still smiling, and looked clueless.

“Is everyone OK?” I ask stretching my neck.  I can tell it is going to be sore for a couple of days.  I close my eyes and try to remain calm.  Nothing else could go wrong.  We had hit rock bottom....right?

 

“Why don’t you pop the trunk, and I will throw this bumper in there,” Brenden grumbled ripping off the front bumper.  His nose was still bleeding.

I open the truck for Brenden and sit on the driver’s seat.  I look out over Provo and wonder where Mitch could possibly be.  Our time was running out.  There would be no way we could go back home without him.

I tell the guys to get back in the car.  Surprisingly they obey.  I can sense how tired we all are, and am hoping that somehow this is all a bad dream.  I close the car door and sit for a second.  I want to laugh, but nothing seems funny anymore.  My head is throbbing and my neck is sore.  I want my bed in the worst way.

I start the car.

I rub my eyes once again hoping that magically it will make them focus.  It doesn’t help.  I pull the car back on the road and start driving towards Provo. 

“I think our wedding cake had Chocolate filling.”

I look in the rear view mirror at Colin.  I’m starting to worry.  I wonder if his soda had a little extra “Something” in it than what we drank.

“I don’t think I had a piece of cake at your wedding,” Brenden responded looking out his window.  The blood on his face had now dried.  He was a mess.

“Your wedding was a lot of fun,” I say focusing on the road.  I keep seeing red lights behind me.  I rub my eyes and look out my side view window.  Sure enough, red lights. 

I tap the brakes.

“What are you doing?” Brenden asks looking at me. The blood and tattoo on his face make him look like a cage fighter.

“The police,” I say as my voice cracks.

“What?”

“It’s the police, we are being pulled over!”

“Maybe it was cream filling…”

I pull the car over to the side of the road.  I close my eyes and wish myself anywhere but here.  The officer gets out of his car and makes his way over to us.  He is going to think we are nuts.  We are dressed like Indians, and Brenden looked like a serial killer.  I knew we were in trouble.

“Can you please step out of the car?” The office said looking in our car.  He looked at Brenden a little longer than the rest of us.

“Yes sir,” I say opening the door.  I wished now I had changed back into my regular clothes.

  He wasn’t messing around.

Brenden and Colin obey and step out of the car.  I take one look at the both of them and realize this doesn’t look good. 

Then I see it….

We were driving a BYU car.

WE. WERE. IN. BIG.TROUBLE.

“Please line up,” The office growled.

We lined up. I’m sure we looked wonderful.

“I need you three to get on the ground with your hands behind your back.”

We obey.

“Do you have any idea whose car you have been driving all night?” the unfriendly officer asked no one in particular.

“I just got married,” Colin responded. 

“No sir,” Brenden and I said in unison.

“You have been driving stolen property.”

We know.

Actually, we didn’t know a thing.

The officer leaned down and put handcuffs on us as he said, “You have the right to remain silent….”